If your request for comments includes typo-picking, you missed a closing quotation mark after "mobsters wanted to kill him in LA." Technically, of course, your last two line/paragraphs should be merged, since there's no change in speaker or even narrative break in the dialogue, but I assume you did that for effect.
no subject
If your request for comments includes typo-picking, you missed a closing quotation mark after "mobsters wanted to kill him in LA." Technically, of course, your last two line/paragraphs should be merged, since there's no change in speaker or even narrative break in the dialogue, but I assume you did that for effect.