I think you should insert an ellipsis after 'waiting for the perfect moment to'; as it is, the 'Darcy stopped' isn't distinct enough from the preceding text. The fact that it's not in italics doesn't register on the reader's brain immediately, or at least it didn't register on mine.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2014-07-22 04:04 am (UTC)