Ten years ago today...

...on a Monday, I was summoned to the school hall to get my retirement present and give a farewell speech to all the staff, in advance of my retirement on the Thursday of that week. Amazingly I had something ready, although I'd expected to be saying goodbye on the Thursday - someone realised that the thing people want to do on the last day of term is head off to the pub, not listen to speeches, and changed things about a bit.

A few days ago I found the speech I made that day - it isn't wonderful, but for anyone who's interested it's below - I've omitted a few names that were in the speech and put people's job title in {curly brackets} instead to protect the guilty...

Thank you. I’ll try to keep this short, because I know everyone wants to get moving.

About twenty years ago the science department shared a corridor with the art department - their main room was at one end, we had a classroom at the other which was being used for science lessons because we were short on lab space. We were busy getting ready for a major reorganization, so I wasn't really paying much attention when a visiting Artist in Residence started to draw lines on one of the corridor windows. This went on for several weeks, and I gradually realised that the lines were tracings of the outlines of the buildings opposite. I thought that she was going to transfer them to canvas, but instead she painted them onto the window in black lines half a centimetre wide.

Eventually, a week or so before the summer holiday, the job was complete. The last touch was a black square on the floor, and a sign that said something like "From this square you can see the outline of the buildings opposite as they are now, and see the changes that occur as they are rebuilt or modified. Compare the bustling world outside with the static world of the school."

So I found the artist and said "Nobody told you, did they?"

"Told me what?"

"Next week they start building our new labs on the flat roof out there. The art department is moving to the new building on the playground, all of this will be ripped out, and there's going to be an internal wall replacing these windows. It’s all going to change."

When I started here thirty-seven years ago we taught about twenty hours of science a week in two labs, and did no exams past CSE, the predecessor of GCSE. Gradually we taught more subjects, spread into some very unsuitable rooms, and eventually got new labs. This year we taught 240 periods a week in ten laboratories on two sites, with all subjects up to A-level. I’ve been involved in most aspects of that change, usually as the guy saying “This’ll never work.” I’m delighted to say that I’ve usually been wrong.

 The reasons I’ve usually been wrong have been first and foremost the other technicians I’ve worked with, secondly the other support staff who do so much behind the scenes to keep things running smoothly. Most notably the other technicians, but also the office staff, schoolkeepers, reception and so forth. This year, for example, {the school secretary}, {the bursar} and the schoolkeepers have helped us make some major improvements to health and safety in the labs. I suppose that the science teachers have helped a bit too… [look doubtful]

 But increasingly I’ve felt that I’m the static unchanging thing in the school, with everything changing around me. I’ve been here longer than anyone else, by umpteen years, I’ve outlived some of the people who were here when I started, and I think it’s time for a change. I’ve been planning to retire at sixty for many years, and thanks to my being a mean git I can afford to do it.

I’m leaving the science department in {the new senior technician's} very capable hands, and if the teachers ask her really nicely I’m sure she’ll let them play with the equipment occasionally. Enjoy yourselves, and try not to blow up the school for at least a few months!

And so far as I know they still haven't...