ffutures: (marcus 2013)
[personal profile] ffutures
Does this sound like plausible Torchwood equipment circa the 1960s?

[Jack] quickly flashed the Torchwood version of psychic paper, a warrant card printed with a subliminal fractal pattern that triggered obedience and short term memory fuzziness. He took care to cover it before anyone had an epileptic fit.

Date: 2016-11-01 08:50 pm (UTC)
ext_196996: My avatar (Default)
From: [identity profile] johnreiher.livejournal.com
I'd say yes. Captain Jack has knowledge beyond what Earth has in the 60's, so a brain hacking image would not be out of line.

Date: 2016-11-01 09:37 pm (UTC)
ext_63737: Posing at Zeusaphone concert, 2008 (Erichsen WSH portrait)
From: [identity profile] beamjockey.livejournal.com
I'd drop the word "fractal." It's an Eighties thing, whereas "subliminal pattern" fits comfortably into the 1960s post-Hidden-Persuaders millieu.

(Fractals themselves can be traced back further, but Mandelbrot coined the word in 1975.)

Separate comment: The phrase "the Torchwood version of psychic paper" is a signal to readers familiar with Doctor Who, but it's not really doing any other work in your passage. And it will be a bump in the road to other readers, if any. Will the story also mention the Torchwood Version Of A Sonic Screwdriver and The Torchwood Version Of Jelly Babies?

Date: 2016-11-01 09:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ffutures.livejournal.com
Thanks, I think it'll do assuming they can't get the real stuff.

Date: 2016-11-01 09:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ffutures.livejournal.com
Jack is from the distant future so I don't think it's unreasonable to use the term in his head. Re "the Torchwood version..." I want to distinguish it from the real stuff used by The Doctor etc., it's a substitute that works after a fashion but can have nasty side effects. Maybe I'll use change it to "Torchwood's ersatz psychic paper" and have him wish he had the real thing.

Date: 2016-11-01 09:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ffutures.livejournal.com
How about this:

[Jack] quickly flashed Torchwood’s warrant card, printed with a subliminal fractal pattern that triggered obedience and short term memory fuzziness. He took care to cover it before anyone had an epileptic fit, and as usual wished that he had real psychic paper instead of a poor substitute.

Date: 2016-11-02 11:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] heather mccrillis (from livejournal.com)
I thought the TW version would contain more porn. :p

Date: 2016-11-03 11:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ffutures.livejournal.com
Maybe in the 21st century with Jack in charge, but in the 1960s it's still very British and repressed.

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