ffutures: (Kenny)
[personal profile] ffutures
One of the reasons why I have been looking at Highlander is that I finally thought of something to do with an old story idea.

This is a BtVS / Highlander crossover, a prequel to my earlier multiple crossover Bring Me The Head of Harry Potter and set about three years earlier, but this is a simple BtVS / Highlander crossover - no Angel, Potter or Sopranos characters appear.

The religion mentioned below was invented by Tara Keezer for her story Stupid Portal, and is used here with her permission.

All characters belong to their respective creators / media companies / etc., and there is no intent to violate copyright. This story may not be distributed on a profit-making basis.



Grounds for Divorce

by Marcus L. Rowland


"Okay," said Duncan MacLeod, "good parry, but you need to put more strength into a riposte and follow through while my guard is open. You're trying to kill me, not tire me out. Try it again from the start."

Dawn Summers backed off to a distance of fifteen feet then moved in again, dancing towards him with sinuous grace. She ducked backwards under his first swing, sliced at his ankles with the practice sword, then rolled clear as he tried to retaliate. The blunted edge of his sword grazed her arm, drawing a little blood. Sparks flowed up and down the wound, closing it instantly, as she swung for the coup-de-grace, but he blocked the strike and surged to his feet, knocking her back as she tried to overcome his strength.

"Much better, but what did you do wrong?"

Dawn rolled back again, spun to trip him, and rolled clear again. "Relied on crippling you with the ankle strike. You cheated, you should have stayed down."

"Right... Let's stop a moment." He got to his feet as she warily retreated. "That's potentially a good move against a normal opponent, might even put an immortal down for a few seconds, but you can't rely on it, it's too easy to miss the tendon. And you're wasting a lot of energy with these acrobatic moves, and giving me too many opportunities to retaliate. Someone with your musculature has to conserve her strength, win through superior skill. One perfect blow is worth a dozen near misses. Now, how about…" He stopped suddenly, feeling the buzz that warned of another immortal, and noticed Dawn moving towards the rack that held the real swords.

"I think it's okay," he said, recognising a nuance of the sensation - he wasn't surprised when the door opened and Methos came in.

"Duncan," said Methos, "and...?"

"Dawn, this is Adam Pierson. You can probably trust him with anything apart from your beer. Adam, Dawn Summers, my latest student."

"Delighted," said Adam, offering her his hand. "Would I be right to guess you're new to this?"

"A few weeks," said Dawn. "Someone shot me, in front of my sister and some friends. Fortunately I snap back pretty fast, they were still trying to resuscitate me when the sparks started. That was kinda tricky, everyone freaked out for a while, but once I'd convinced them I still had a pulse and a reflection we went looking for answers, and we knew a guy who knew a... a guy who knew a lady who knew Duncan."

"And your sister wasn't upset?"

"She was pleased I was still alive. Well, alive again."

"Most people can't cope," said Methos.

"I guess it's a little weird," said Dawn, "but it's not like I'm the first person she'd seen that came back from the dead."

"Oh?"

"She's in a peculiar line of work."

"You can tell him," said Duncan, "I'm pretty sure he knows about the things that go bump in the night."

"Okay... well, she's a Vampire Slayer."

Methos started, and in a long-forgotten language muttered "Sendaru, hunter of evil, destroyer of chaos!"

Dawn said "What?!"

"Nothing," Methos said hastily, "I've heard the stories, of course..."

"Bull," said Dawn. "If you know that name..."

"What name?" asked Duncan.

"Sendaru. Nobody knows about her any more, not since the Watcher's Council went down. I've come across it in some really old documents, I doubt anyone else remembers."

"He used to be a Watcher," said Duncan, a little confused.

"She's talking about the Watcher's Council," said Methos. "A very different organization. Though I'll admit that the confusion was occasionally entertaining."

"And you know the difference," said Dawn, "and you know that Slayers are avatars of Sendaru, the Slayer god. So who the hell are you?"

"Moi?"

"You."

Methos looked at her, began to say something, hesitated, sighed, and finally said "Sister of Sendaru, I greet you. May chaos and evil pass you by."

"Holy crap!" said Dawn, "You're an initiate of Sendaru!"

"Not exactly," said Methos. Duncan suddenly realised that he was sweating and twisting his heel.

"Something higher then? A priest?"

"You're religious?" Duncan asked incredulously.

"You'd be religious too," Methos said angrily, "if there was a god around whose human avatar could snap your spine like a twig."

"So..." said Dawn, "Sendaru's sister is getting annoyed here. If you're not an initiate, and not a priest, what the hell are you?"

Methos sighed again, and eventually said "It was a long time ago, and I was young and stupid..."

"And?"

"And I fell in love with the Slayer."

"Okay," said Dawn, "not seeing a problem here, it's not like you'd be the first guy to have a thing for a Slayer."

"I married her. To do that I had to join the cult and become an initiate, and sit through a lot of rituals I really didn't understand."

"How old was she?" Dawn asked coldly.

"Fourteen," said Methos. "Things were very different then. I thought I might be able to save her."

"How long did it last?"

"She made it to nineteen," said Methos, "went down fighting a demon army, it would be about where Berlin is today. They killed me too, but I came back. She didn't, of course."

"You did your best," said Dawn. "Slayers die young; it sounds like you kept her alive longer than most."

"That's not the problem," said Methos.

"So what is?" asked Duncan.

"I decided that it would be a bad idea to stay around, so I headed out towards Athens, wound up in Persia, and spent the next couple of centuries as a scholar around the Persian court. And then I ran into another Slayer. She took one look at me, and began to scream at me for running out on her."

"That's crazy," said Dawn, "I know Slayers sometimes remember their predecessors, but..."

"Predecessor?" said Methos. "It wasn't the Slayer that was screaming. It was Sendaru."

"You're kidding."

"I said I didn't understand the ritual."

"They married you to... to Sendaru?"

"That's about it," said Methos. "I barely got away that time, and since then I've run into Slayers half a dozen times. And every time Sendaru remembered me, and took over the girl, and I've had to run."

Dawn looked at him appraisingly, and said "Maybe you should try to get back together, settle things amicably."

"With your sister?"

"No, she's got a boyfriend, and I can't see Spike going for a threesome. But there are other options."

"I don't understand," said Methos.

Behind him the doors swung open, and a woman said "Dawn, are you gonna be much longer?"

Methos glanced over his shoulder, and three pairs of eyes widened and darkened. In unison Vi, Rona, and Shannon said "Husband?"

"I was trying to say," said Dawn, "that there are a lot more Slayers now." But she was talking to empty air. Methos was running, with three Slayers in hot pursuit.

"He's resourceful," Duncan said dubiously, as he heard doors slam and glass shatter in the distance, "he'll be okay."

"I guess," said Dawn, "and maybe Willow can try to talk Sendaru into giving him a divorce, if he'll hold still long enough to talk to her."

"Meanwhile," said Duncan, "it'll probably be a while before your friends get back." He drew the practice sword again, and began to circle around her. Dawn grinned, and settled down to business.

End.


Comments please before I post to archives.

Date: 2009-04-19 04:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] classiclon.livejournal.com
LOL. Hilarious! I so can see Methos getting into this in his early years.

Date: 2009-04-19 05:12 pm (UTC)

Date: 2009-04-19 04:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] curiouswombat.livejournal.com
I really enjoyed it, even though it's a while since I saw anything of Highlander, it worked well for me.

Date: 2009-04-19 05:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ffutures.livejournal.com
Thanks! I've had a vague idea in the back of my head for ages, Methos as some sort of primordial Watcher or something, then I rememberd Stupid Portal and it came together.

Date: 2009-04-19 05:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elementalv.livejournal.com
This is beyond beautiful! God, this was excellent. Thank you!

Date: 2009-04-19 05:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ffutures.livejournal.com
Thanks for letting me borrow Sendaru! Believe it or not, my original idea for this was some sort of angst-fest, but it really didn't work out that way...

Date: 2009-04-19 06:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elementalv.livejournal.com
This was perfect, and you really captured Sendaru's essential insanity. I kind of love the fact that Methos got himself married to her without really paying attention.

Date: 2009-04-19 06:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ffutures.livejournal.com
I think that's Methos all over.

Date: 2009-04-19 08:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mymatedave.livejournal.com
Sendaru seems like a cool character, which of your stories was she in?

Date: 2009-04-19 09:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ffutures.livejournal.com
Stupid Portal - link is at the top of my story!

Date: 2009-04-20 12:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elementalv.livejournal.com
She shows up in Stupid Portal. Marcus has a link to it in his original post.

Date: 2009-04-19 05:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rodabug.livejournal.com
I really enjoyed this and can see where it would work in both storylines. Seems to me that two sets of watchers through the ages would run into each other. Good to see I'm not the only one to think this way.

Date: 2009-04-19 05:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ffutures.livejournal.com
I've seen stories in which they are the same organization, in which they are descended from a common ancestor, and in which they have always been separate. I decided to go with the last one since it's funnier...

Glad you liked the story.
Edited Date: 2009-04-19 05:54 pm (UTC)

Date: 2009-04-19 06:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] herk227.livejournal.com
Love your work :)

Hmmm Spike/Methos/Threesome you do realize it's probably dangerous to mutter such powerfull suggestions with so many of us fangirls around ;)

I'd like to see more of your Immortal!Dawn around could be funny (this one was anyway).

Date: 2009-04-19 06:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ffutures.livejournal.com
See the link to Bring Me The Head of Harry Potter, above. Warning - it's fairly old, so non-canon for Angel S5 and the last 3 (I think) Harry Potter books.

Date: 2009-04-19 07:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hjcallipygian.livejournal.com
hahaha, nice. I'm not overly familiar with Highlander, but that's funny either way.

Date: 2009-04-19 09:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ffutures.livejournal.com
Thanks - it seems to be fairly popular.

Date: 2009-04-19 08:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mymatedave.livejournal.com
I liked this, but which of elemantalv's fics is Sendaru from?

Date: 2009-04-19 09:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ffutures.livejournal.com
Stupid Portal - see the top of this story for a link to it.

Date: 2009-04-19 09:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mymatedave.livejournal.com
Thanks, should have checked before I asked. Idiot.

Date: 2009-04-20 12:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinfaneb.livejournal.com
Pretty cool. And don't forget the Watcher's from Barry Sadler's "Casca" books :)

Date: 2009-04-20 06:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ffutures.livejournal.com
Never read them but thanks for the tip. Glad you liked the story.

Date: 2009-04-20 03:20 am (UTC)
kayshapero: Cheshire cat vanishes, ending with the grin (Cheshire)
From: [personal profile] kayshapero
As one of the few fans around who didn't watch much Buffy, and even less Highlander (mostly due to things like my fanac getting in the way of my fanac and so on), I don't know the characters very well, but I LIKE the fic. Wonderfully silly. Applause!


I shall now go read "Bring me the Head..."... (Well, download for stashment in my TX and later reading anyway.)

Date: 2009-04-20 06:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ffutures.livejournal.com
It's a bit old and is now VERY AU for Harry Potter (and to a lesser extent Buffy / Angel) but people seem to like it.

Date: 2009-04-20 09:22 pm (UTC)
kayshapero: (Caracal2)
From: [personal profile] kayshapero
Actually I prefer AU - if I want canon I'll go to the original. I'm a bit over half way through now and it's proving very entertaining.

Date: 2009-04-20 09:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ffutures.livejournal.com
It's got a few glitches - I was making it up as I went along and lost the plot a couple of times, then had to shove in a few retcons to fix the holes.

Date: 2009-04-20 09:51 pm (UTC)
kayshapero: Cheshire cat vanishes, ending with the grin (Cheshire)
From: [personal profile] kayshapero
Not unusual - it's the problem with doing your first drafting on line. You may want to go back sometime and rewrite the thing into a final version fixing silly things like the mispelling of Krum's name, Durmstrang's wandering location (and spelling) and stuff like that there.

Heck, years after I wrote it, I realized one paragraph in "We're all Bozos on This Bus" was impossible due to stuff we'd established later in the campaign and just quietly deleted it from future publication.

Plot? Surely more of a conspiracy? :)

Date: 2009-04-20 04:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] draconin.livejournal.com
Nice! I'm not a Highlander fan (apart from the original movie) but I enjoyed this - partly because it made me go back and re-read "Stupid Portal". :-)

Date: 2009-04-20 06:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ffutures.livejournal.com
Stupid Portal is one of the stories that really got me into crossover fanfic, and was a major inspiration for my story Omphalos.

Date: 2009-04-21 02:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] draconin.livejournal.com
It was far from my first xover, but what impressed me about it was making the Buffyverse work so well with Startrek - something I'd considered highly unlikely given the diametrically opposed underlying philosophies. Stupid Portal not only made it work, it made that opposition an integral part of the theme.

Date: 2009-04-22 12:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ccmom.livejournal.com
This was hilarious! Nice work.

Date: 2009-04-23 01:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ffutures.livejournal.com
Many thanks!

Date: 2009-05-04 04:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] purple-smurf.livejournal.com
So I read this, and really enjoyed it. Really, really enjoyed it. I may have exacerbated my current heavy cold (not H1N1!) with laughter that turned into coughing fits. Painful coughing fits.

So I decided to take myself off to read Stupid Portal, because it all sounded interesting. I was definitely into reading it when I discovered it was a TNG crossover I hadn't read yet.

It is not 2.47am Australian time and I blame you entirely.

Thanks for a fantastic story, and thanks for sending me in the direction of something that really reminded me of Peter David's Trek novels -- in a very good way!

Date: 2009-05-04 06:57 pm (UTC)
beatrice_otter: Hobbes says "God must have a funny sense of humor" (God's Humor)
From: [personal profile] beatrice_otter
bwahaha! I don't suppose there'll be a continuation or a sequel coming? Or, ooh, something with Methos first falling in love with his Slayer and going through all the rituals and such--that'd be great!

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