Too flippant?

[ffutures]

I'd like to have this conversation in the next part of The Key to Byzantium, but the circumstances in which SG-1 meet Willow (at a memorial) don't seem quite right. Does this seem in character for Willow and SG-1 if that's taken into account?



She looked at them, seemed to recognise Jack's face, and said "Colonel O'Neill?"

"Miss Rosenberg?"

"That's right. They'll be here for a while, if you'd like to come with me we can go somewhere a little quieter to talk. Want to introduce me?"

"Sorry. Major Samantha Carter, Doctor Daniel Jackson, and Murray."

"Murray?" said Willow, staring up at Teal'c. "Funny, you don't look Jewish."

"Indeed I am not," said Teal'c.

"In fact I'd have to say you don't feel exactly human."

"In fact I am not. I am a Jaffa."

"You're a city in Israel?"

"It's complicated," Jack said hastily. "Don't worry, he's one of the good guys."

Comments

[kalieris.livejournal.com]

It's a bit difficult for me to envision Willow's expression/tone when she says "You're a city in Israel?" I keep seeing puzzled blinking, when all the while I know it's just her being a smart-ass. Particularly followed by Jack's "It's complicated". Makes it sound to me like he isn't getting her flippancy either.

[ffutures.livejournal.com]

Thanks - I had a feeling it wasn't quite right. I've edited it to this:

"Indeed I am not," said Teal'c.

"In fact I'd have to say you don't feel exactly human."

"In fact I am not. I am a Jaffa."

"Spelled like the oranges?"

"I guess so," said Jack. "It's complicated. Don't worry, he's one of the good guys."

[karohemd.livejournal.com]

Sounds more probable, yes. My first association with Jaffa would be oranges as well.

[ffutures.livejournal.com]

The context is that she's been talking about a Jewish custom a few minutes earlier. But even so the oranges are a more likely reference. Although I'm belatedly wondering if they're widely known in California, which produces rather a lot of oranges of its own.

[sirernest.livejournal.com]

I was thinking about jaffa cakes. Only context I knew that word in.

[kalieris.livejournal.com]

Heh, heh, heh. The "WTF??" bubble is now squarely over Jack's head.

[ancient-immie.livejournal.com]

The edited version sounds smoother. It seems like Willow to be a smart ass comment would include something like a type of produce..