The Missing Martian

[ffutures]

I've scanned the third and last of the stories I wrote for the Midnight Rose Collective's fiction anthologies.

This one's from The Weerde: Book 2, the second in a series of books set in a world in which there are shape-changing primordial beings living amongst humanity. I'd rather not say much more about the background, since it builds up over the two books and works best if read that way.

Influences on this one include Raymond Chandler, Rex Stout, Ed McBain (who suggested the name of a detective), and numerous other crime writers of the forties and fifties. Most of the other character names are anagrams of bits of my name; the exception is Louis Ginsberg, a distant relative of my great-grandparents. One wasn't invented by me - Claude R Worlsman first appeared in the Call of Cthulhu module Statue of the Sorcerer by Chris Elliot and Richard Edwards, published by Games Workshop in the days when they were an RPG company.

On the whole I'm reasonably happy with this story, even after 12 years, though I think I would change the last few paragraphs a little if I were writing it today.

As usual I would be grateful for comments on spelling errors, typos, etc.

The Missing Martian

Comments

[autopope.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I am tempted to post the manuscript copies I still retain of my own two stories from these anthologies. Thoughts?

[ffutures.livejournal.com]

You stand much more chance of selling them again than I do - in an anthology of your own work if nothing else. Having them on-line might be bad for sales, or might make a nice sampler for a larger compilation, I really don't know. The latter seems to work for Baen, I suppose.

I doubt I'll sell mine again, so I haven't got a problem with putting them on line - I think Roz intends to put the rest of hers on-line too.

If you do want to put your stories up, please feel free to link to the cover pictures I've used, or copy them to your own site. I haven't scanned the covers of the books I wasn't in as yet, but will be happy to do so if anyone wants me to.

[autopope.livejournal.com]

I'm not planning on selling them again, though. Reason: the setting is too ... well, it's too obviously someone else's design. And they're early work, journeyman stuff, not up to snuff for the next anthology I'm putting together (which might surface around 2007 at the current rate).

Roz putting hers on line is great to know about. Maybe if everyone else agrees, we could resurrect the two anthologies online (say, under a Commercial Commons no-commercial-reuse/no derivatives license)?

[ffutures.livejournal.com]

Fine by me, but I suspect that getting everyone to agree - or even finding everyone at this late stage - would be a bit of a nightmare.

I'm currently scanning Roz's stories for her, since she is in the same boat as I am re. floppies, I've done all the ones she didn't have apart from the Villains story, for some reason I haven't found that book yet. But she's apparently waiting on someone else to upload them so it may take a while before they appear on line.

[dsample.livejournal.com]

> 'Mr Ginsberg, I suppose must trust you.'
-- I think there's a missing 'I' in there.

> no one was took concerned about anything
-- too

> Nothing. I told you when you hired me, I don't rat on my clients.
-- missing opening quote.



Not an error, but: 'I don't do that sort of thing. Bums like that guy Spade who writes for Black Mask, or that geek Goodwin who shills for Wolfe and puts every detail in his god-damned memoirs, they give this business a bad name. It says "confidential" on the door, and confidential is what you're buying.'
-- I guess he changed his mind about that sort of thing, somewhere along the line.



BTW: Was that reference to an abandoned German dig in Egypt a reference to Raiders of the Lost Arc?

[ffutures.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the errors. Yes, I think he must have changed his mind, and yes, that was a Raiders reference.

[ggreig]

About half of the "errors" I spotted are when Sophie's talking, so they may be part of her style of speech - particularly as she's severely been bashed about facially. However, I figured if I include them anyway it's easy enough to ignore any for which that's true.

the dependents of bank. guards.

Superfluous full-stop.

.'Eighteen months.'

Superfluous full-stop.

the guy who used to sell encyclopaedias

Not really an error, but could use æ here.

For all know, your boyfriend is holding him.

For all I know...

You had to lister closely

listen

She took a quid snort, coughed, and pushed it away.

This could be slang I don't know, but I'm guessing it should be quick rather than quid.

Sophie: Do I ever.

"Should" have a question mark, but omitting it OK for tone.

Sophie: Creep tried put me away for saying was Cream that cut me up.

...tried to put me away...

Sophie: Hope they rots in Hell, both them.

...both of them.

Sophie: There plenty doctors in city to fix a girl for fifty bucks.

There are plenty ... in the city...

Sophie: Now again. Give me another shot.

Now and again.

Sophie: He know someone runs baby farm.

He knows someone who runs a baby farm.

Sophie: What's worth?

What's it worth?

Sophie: That I don'know.

Missing space.

Maybe hell want to keep her.

Missing apostrophe.

but Judge Dell packed a lot of clout, They

Comma should be full stop.

I 'got up and walked over to the fireplace

Superfluous apostrophe.

Worth reading for the quip about having bumped off the bad guy alone.

[ffutures.livejournal.com]

Thanks - the Sophie stuff is how it's supposed to be, the rest is errors.

I felt really pleased with myself when I wrote the "Iced Cream" joke - glad someone finally spotted it! Only taken 12 years...

[ffutures.livejournal.com]

Corrected version now posted.

[dsample.livejournal.com]

I spotted it, I just didn't comment on it.