Weasley Weapons

[ffutures]

In the last chapter of my Harry Potter story I mentioned that Fred and George had some weapons so evil that they'd never even used then for pranking. I now have to describe them...

so far my best ideas are vampiric Pygmy Puffs ( basically blood-sucking fast breeding tribbles), turbo-nifflers (like ordinary nifflers but a LOT faster), and giant squid pheromone spray (not sure about that one since I'm not writing tentacle porn). Any other suggestions?

Comments

[eledonecirrhosa]

Well, turn the giant squid pheromones into were-squid potions. You become a weresquid and gain all the powers of a squid - changing colour, squirting ink, and dropping dead after mating (like salmon do).

Diamond summoning. You summon the biggest diamond possible into the hand of your target. Trouble is the biggest diamonds on Earth are deep in the mantle and thus ridiculously hot. The diamond arrives, reacts with the oxygen of the atmosphere and creates a fireball as heat, oxygen and carbon mix. Possibly an explosive fireball as the huge diamond shatters into lots of pieces in the 'cold' of room temperature.

[ffutures]

The first one sounds suitably silly. The second one is maybe too much of a high- tech idea for wizards, plus probably needing way too much magical power to be practical.

[legionseagle]

Weaponising the Ton-Tongue Toffee would do it for me, but actually doing it delayed action so it enlarged *internal* organs would be spectacular.

[ffutures]

I remember you mentioning uses of the stuff for torture in the Lopiverse. Enlarging internal organs sounds interesting - it might be how the entrail- exploding curse works. You'd need an aerosol version or something to affect the targets, of course.

[willibald]

In my HP/Princess Bride crossover the heroine took out one of her opponents with a Wingardum Leviosum, by not removing the feather from the ostrich before she hit him with it.

[ffutures]

Like it - I have a few large heavy object ploys planned, though not that one.

[jhall1]

That crossover sounds like enormous fun. Can you provide a link to the story, please? Hopefully ffutures won't mind.

[ffutures]

I'd like to see it myself, I forgot to ask.

[willibald]

If you really want it:
The Prince's Bride (8527 words) by Willibald
Chapters: 7/7
Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Princess Bride (1987), The Princess Bride - William Goldman
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Severus Snape, Albus Dumbledore/Severus Snape
Characters: Scorpius Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Severus Snape, Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Rubeus Hagrid, Voldemort, Peter Pettigrew, Minerva McGonagall, Horace Slughorn, Sirius Black, Asteria Malfoy, Cornelius Fudge
Additional Tags: Crack, Dumbledore Being a Dick, Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Crack Crossover, True Love, Pirates, Giants, R.O.U.S.s, A bit of Crack Thrown In for Good Measure, Same Age Hermione and Severus
Summary:

While Scorpius is ill, his grandfather tells him a familiar story full of fairly recognisable characters